THE KIND OF PUPPIES DREAMS ARE MADE OF

I'm thinking about opening a high end pet boutique in an upper middle class town in Florida. I have owned one dog in my adult life and I gave it away when I selfishly decided to move into an apartment that did not allow pets. The family I gave her to already had a puppy of the same breed and was looking for a female and since I had known the family for some time I felt no remorse. Now that I have a baby, a real live human, of my own I feel the guilt of giving away my first "baby." The point of this diatribe is that I do not know a great deal about pets, nor do I seem to be an exceptionally good pet owner - based on prior record. What I do know are fancy accessories that accompany pampered pets. When I had Jazzy, aforementioned pet, I would take bubble baths with her and then douse her in Chanel Mademoiselle, blow her dry and put on a little top or sweater of some sort. I even had these little Ugg boots that I would put on her when it was chilly out. She hated them, but they were so cute - I loved the attention we would get when I would pull her out of my purse. If I had been with a man with money or better yet, had money of my own I would have had the Louis Vuitton dog carrier. Instead, I had a really cute pink Sherpa carrier. I miss Jazzy, I miss her sleeping in my bed and just being so damn cute. I have a friend who I call from time to time and in this really high pitched voice I say "HIIIII, it's me!" He'll say "Jazzy?" Then I will go on to ask really simple questions. "Hiiii, how are you?! I'm wearing a new sweater!" He'll ask "Jazzy" a thousand questions and because she's stupid she'll say the same thing over and over "I'm wearing a new sweater!" It's funny, in my funny kind of way. Sooo, we'll see if this is a good idea or not - the boutique. If it pans out I'm definitely getting a puppy to bring with me to work. She'll have a different voice than Jazzy but will operate on the same wavelength. Sometimes when the customers are assholes I will have Jazzy 2 address them. Then I'll just smile, shrug my shoulders and point to Jazzy 2. It's always best when you can be simultaneously insulting and funny - get your point across without immediately upsetting the person but after they are left alone they realize the insult and feel depressed. Oh, Jazzy 2, you are man's best friend.