me: I am tired. Tell me why I shouldn't be.
friend: you absolutely should be tired
Consider:
1. you're pregnant
2. you're under greater stress from sudden change
3. this means your body and mind is fighting off depression (and you're doing a good job)

Again, dear Crunk, I come back to you when my mind will not stop turning. Since my latest entry I am still in the "possum state" (see picture below). Pregnant. But, now, sadly and in the long run not sadly without my ever me so hopeful morphing partner in crime. He has jumped ship. An age old story. But, not for ME! I mean, yes, of course I've been dumped, but, by a man who I trusted with my life? No. It's been about 2 weeks - I am not counting - I hate counting dates from/to. I am doing so much better, but now the dreams have settled in. Weird things like I have to go tonight, with a friend - thank god - to the "apartment" to pick up some things and I am understandly dreading it. Not like we established a number of fabulous memories there, but, still anything can be too much at this point. My dreams last night reflected my fears. An overnight stranger. Where is this gut instinct that people have. I am so good with everyone else - trusting my gut - but, men. Was he perfect, no - no one is. At times he drove me nuts, at times, I thought what am I doing with him. But, for the most part I felt secure, happy, content. It was enough for me. I am simple in that way. In many, many ways I am not - but, in just going with the flow and not overanalyzing something comfortable and secure I just go with the flow. I have my moments, I AM a woman, but, I am ever so faithful and true.
Now, more than any other time in my life I have turned to friends. Family members are just people who could or could not have turned into your friends. I am lucky that my sister is my best friend. I am lucky that I have so many other friends that love me in spite of my faults. I am so choosy with friends. I pick good people, with a good base. Strong individuals. How come I don't do this with significant others? I typically pick weak men, with insecurities that are overwhelming. This is my reflection time. This is when I learn from my mistakes. I have no choice but to do so now that it is not me alone. I will be tied to this man most likely forever and I do see good in him and I know if he is involved with the child he will be kind. In that respect I am lucky. But, I could not do any of this without my friends. People I chose based on my intuition. It's there, I feel it. I need to focus that towards men who enter my life and from this point on I know I will.