I want an animal. I would love a dog, but, I know that is not even an option. So, the backup is a cat. Which you know I will likely be sick of in 6 months. What I really want is a man, but, that ain't happening anytime in the near future. I like this Man-Cat (above) - I like the fact that he has a ID tag on. It shows me he's responsible, someone who won't give up, who would never leave his cat wife, especially if she was pregant with his kittens. He's a trooper. He's not especially that handsome, but, he tries. He is wearing lip gloss for god's sake - ok, that is weird. Why do we/me/women need men so much? Then when we have them, typically, we just bitch about them? Because they typically deserve the complaining, yes that's true. I have never been one to need a man. Honestly, it's true. I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 21. I cherish my independence. I miss knowing I will be alone forever. Not really alone, but in charge of my own life. I met a non nice non man-cat who really threw me for a loop and now I feel the burden of responsiblity towards him. I have to alter 34 years of thinking, acting, etc. In order to make my life not miserable, I have to befriend this mean non man-cat. He wears lip gloss too, I should mention that. Sorry, but, lately all roads lead back to this NNNMC. We have conversations every night in my head. Sometimes I am telling him off and we're going no where - lose lose. Sometimes, I am super friendly and he is distant and hurtful. And, then sometimes I am business like and so is he - and that makes me so sad. I wish we could just be how we were together apart. Why not? Wouldn't that be easier? How come no one operates like that? They should. Only difference with us is no sex and proximity - neither of which I miss. Has to be a reason I am here at this point. Tonight when I wake up @ 2am we'll talk about that - I wonder how I'll be and I wonder how he'll react. At the very least I think I am going to have him wear that little red cowboy hat - sans the gloss though, can't take him seriously then.